Get Ready with Me & My Dirty Dishes
By: L.B. Lewis
“I’ll do the dishes,” is something I don’t say lightly.
I wash the dishes when the sink is full.
That’s the functional way.
Although I remember hearing about a woman, more functional than I, who would fill her bathtub with dirty dishes…but I left comparing myself to others in 2023.
Nowadays, we have more ways to do the dishes.
Like the countertop dishwasher that followed me around the internet.
This thing could come with or without a window in the door.
If I had the money and the counter space, I’d get it.
Maybe make some videos of it, to toss my hat into the crowded LA influencer ring.
I mean, I could start now doing my original series: Get Ready with Me & My Dirty Dishes.
But my kitchen looks like it belongs on Gilligan’s shipwrecked ship.
Why?
Like Gilligan’s Island, my kitchen is from the 1960’s.
Like a ship, it’s tiny, long, and narrow.
The stove is so big when you open the door no one can pass by.
But let me be real, it’s not like walking in my kitchen is easy to do anyway.
It’s about as long as I am tall.
Same thing with the fridge — the door can’t open all the way because it hits the cupboards.
But, hear me out, if you love vintage woodwork, the cabinets are a dream come true.
Two cabinets are as wide as my middle finger.
I guess it’s for the drugs.
Let me confess something to you: I used to think how nice it is to see people smiling so much in LA and that they were happy to see me.
Then someone told me, “It’s just the drugs they’re on.”
But the one thing I was addicted to in LA has closed.
Well, at least the location closest to me is now vacant.
It was the 99 Cents Only store.
Oh, well. It was good while it lasted. Grateful for all the bargains.
Nothing’s going to stop me from making my dishes dirty, filling up my sink, sailing in my Gilligan’s Island kitchen, smiling at the people that smile at me, and writing all about it.
Until I get my book and/or movie deal.
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. — Joan Rivers
